The Dating Game

Disclaimer: If you read this and realize that some of this is about you, do not take it personally. I do not mean any harm, but a lot of its interesting and funny. Think of it more as an educational tool to help others who are in the dating game be successful.

Sooooo, for the past couple of months I was a dating machine. It seems like everyone I know was trying to set me up or introduce me to someone who they thought would be a good match for me. There are also people you meet in the street, at a bar or just about anywhere.

I have been on my fair share of dates, from fancy dinners to just hanging out at the movies. Some guys were funny, boring (these are the worst) and some were even pretty cute. So from this sample I have some sage wisdom to share with the single men out there.

1. If you are going to ask a girl out, do so properly! Say things like “I would like to go out with you. Are you free on __________?” Do not just leave it open ended and just wait for her to tell you when she is free. She will think you are a wuss and most likely you are. 
2. Have a plan! After you get the date and you go pick her up or meet up with the girl, make sure you have a plan if you have not already told her what you will be doing. So don't show up and say "ohh what do you want to do"? This is a major fail. If you did this to me, you probably didn't get a second date, right?
3. Please be yourself! Even if you are a creep, its better she knows it from the beginning. Hey some girls, like creeps, so go figure. This is not to say that you should not be on your best behavior. This is not the time to try out the corny joke you looked up online to try to impress her. OK?
4. Watch the signals! Women are the queens of non-verbal cues. So pay attention. A girl will let you know if she is interested. Is she making eye contact? Is she actively listening? Are her eyes wandering all over the restaurant? Is she constantly checking her phone? Then she is not interested. She is just waiting for you to notice and hopefully not ask her out again.
5. Please follow-up! If the date went well, you both had a good time and she hinted on liking to see you again. Call her and let her know you had a good time too. Don't text her or email her (this is coming from the texting queen)

So guys now that you have my top five tips on how to woo a woman, try not to mess up and have a good time. If it does not work out its OK, there are plenty of fish in the sea, just please do not be like that loser that got upset and told me "I didn't give him a chance to shine" when it was clear there wasn't any chemistry.

Seriously??

I have finally hung up my dating shoes :) But, one thing I realized, is that everyone is looking for love and there is someone for everybody.  When you find the one you like, make sure you shine!!!

Everything happens for a reason...

A couple of months ago I went through one of the hardest periods in my life. It was a moment in which many of us find ourselves from time to time. Situations where you ask yourself, why me? Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? I think it’s only natural to ask what you did wrong when life sucker punches you.

This got me to think about when bad things happen, your family and friends will try to console you with cliché phrases. In hindsight, I can look back at these moments and smile, because they were absolutely right, but back then this is what I thought :)

Everything happens for a reason...

THEN  What freaking possible reason can there be for me not wanting to eat, and cry all the time?

NOW  What was the reason? I lost those last annoying pounds :) Fabulous!!!

Time will tell...

THEN  Time will tell what? That everything I thought I knew wasn’t true?

NOW   Time did tell me that I never really knew anything.

When one door closes, another one opens...

THEN  I do not want the damn door to close! I have worked hard to keep that damn door propped open!

NOW   Now it is like OMG, I should have jumped out the damn window!

And my absolute favorite you are fabulous! It was good to hear it then and it’s still good to hear it now.

So what is the moral of this story?

Please do not smack your friend/cousin/co-worker upside the head when they are telling you something positive or rational in your moment of despair. Yes, it hurts! It hurts a lot, but always remember that everything happens for a reason, time will tell, when one door closes another one opens and you are absolutely fabulous :)

Finally, I would like to leave you with these words from Conan O’Brien from his last appearance on The Tonight Show. These lines get at the exact sentiment of what I am trying to convey.

"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But, if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen”.

Be kind and work hard people, and the rest will follow :)

Talk with your mouth full

You can tell a lot about a couple by how they interact with each other when they are out for dinner. I am a voyeur when I eat out. Aside from enjoying my meal, I like to play little guessing games about the couples near me. I find this little hobby of mine quite enjoyable. Are they married? Are they having a fight? And sometimes, she is wayyyyy too cute for him.

But, by far the most significant observation that always surprises me is the large number of couples that can sit through an entire meal without uttering one word. How is that possible???

If two people can sit through an entire meal without looking up, making eye contact or having a conversation. Then they SHOULD not be together! If this is you right now, you better evaluate that relationship and run for the hills. If you do not confront this, you might stay together, but you will not be happy, trust me, save yourself the heartache.

Who could eat in silence? I know I cannot. Maybe I am the exception, maybe I just talk too damn much.

OK, so here is the next test. After dinner is over, it is time for dessert, and you order two SEPARATE desserts, this relationship is doomed! If one person prefers the chocolate mousse and the other the apple tart, order the damn strawberry cheesecake! This is the epitome of compromise. How you order your dessert as a couple is a very good indicator of how successful your relationship will be. Bonus points if you share only one spoon, which most likely means…. you are having good sex :)

Next time you are out to dinner with that special someone and you want it to work? Please make eye contact, have a decent conversation and please only order one dessert, preferably with one spoon ;)

Happy Eating!!

Are you connected?

This past weekend, I left my cell phone in the bathroom of a club. No, I was not in a state inebriation. I just forgot it there on the ledge of the sink, and you guys know I lose or forget everything, so why should my expensive new phone be any different?

I was apart from my baby for less than 24 hours and I honestly felt like I was going to have a panic attack. Its crazy the amount of connectivity we need in our lives, or that we "think" we need. Now with the access of text messaging, Facebook, Blackberry Messenger (BBM), and Twitter are we more connected or farther apart? I do not know, I am still trying to figure it out.

I remember a time when I did not have a cell phone, or a Facebook account. I did not even know what a text message was and I still managed to live a satisfactory life. I still hung out with my friends, made plans, and socialized. I wasn’t any less happy because I could not update the online world about what I had for lunch today. 

Who cares really? 

Obviously, we all think people care, because we are all doing it, typing into a phone about what a great time we are having at the latest club. Well are you having such a great time, if you are busy updating your facebook status?

I am not trying to be the moral police here, because I clearly have a problem. But I think it is something we should all think about. Maybe we can put down the phones and laptops for just one second and call someone, go outside, or even try to have conversation that does not involve an emoticon :)

Will it be possible for us as a society to slow down and touch someone (do not be fresh). Will a new phone app be needed for that too?

Now before the critics come out screaming, just know that I am planning to update this blog link on Facebook and Twitter :)

Let it NOT snow

I was seven years old when I first came to New York and back then I lovedddd snow. I loved to play in it, jump in it and run in it. I would stick my tongue out and try to “eat” snow. I would smile at my mom as she watched my fascination with the snow, something I had never seen before. Back in the Dominican Republic, when my mother would come back from the U.S. full of presents, I would always ask her about winter and I would tell her how much I wanted to see it, so I know it made her happy when I went crazy when it snowed.

Those are great memories! Now that I am 27 years old, snow is NOT cute. I was born in a tropical climate, so this crap is unnatural to me, and the older I get, the more I hate winter.

Yeah it’s nice when it first comes down, but give it just ONE day and its disgusting and dirty.  You can't walk half a block without fearing your own safety.  So the only good things about snow are snow days. And snow days give you a free pass to be a total bum. No one will judge you! It’s a snow day, everyone else is being lazy too.

We are all:

Sleeping late
Staying in your pajamas
Eating bad food
Watching too much TV
And more sleeping

Any other day, this would be unacceptable, so please DO NOT SNOW anymore, we all know I do not need any more free passes to be unproductive.

Snow you have made your appearance, now its time for you to go back to Vermont or something.  Thank you very much, see you next year :)

Fresh, Hot and Cheap

You always give it to me fresh, hot and cheap...

You always smile at me and ask me how I'm doing. Most girls cannot even get a guy to call them back. Let alone ask them about their weekend.

What more can a girl want?

I do not know your name and you do not know mine, but our relationship is as clear as any other.

I am talking about my corner coffee guy.

So, nice and smiling coffee guy, this tribute is for you...

You miss me the days that I do not stop by. And on the days when I pass right by you with a cup of Think Coffee you even smile back at me. How nice of you? If it were me, I would give you a nasty glare.

So after much thought, I will not cheat on you anymore. Who cares that Think Coffee gives me organic coffee served by bohemians. Their coffee doesn't even taste that good, and it costs nearly four dollars! They have a sign that says not to talk on my cell phone when I order. You don't care about stuff like that! Yeah they have seats and free Wi-Fi, but it’s not as if I sit there with my laptop and work. I have an office, I drink my coffee there. Sorry Think Coffee, I will only drink your coffee if someone else is buying.

You stand there in the heat, in the rain, in the cold, and in the snow (it has been cold lately, so I hope you have a portable heater in there), you always have a smile on your face and wish me a good day. Your coffee is hot (not scalding, I hate that), it’s fresh and a medium cup is only a dollar, what a bargain :)

So, to all of those New Yorkers that have moved away from the corner coffee guys to go to the more gourmet coffee shops. Please stop!

Instead, patronize the hard working coffee guys that are on the corner of your office or school, day after day. They always have a smile on their face and wish you a good day.

And most importantly, they are affordable and always remember what you order. Where else can you get that kind of service in this city?

So next time that girl/guy or some hybrid combination person in skinny jeans and torn t-shirt gives you a nasty look for not putting your change in the tip jar, think about how the corner guy doesn't even have a tip jar! Or, the next time the barista slams your latte on the counter, think about the smiling hard working guy that makes conversation with you before you go into work, he will never slam your coffee down, he will hand it to you in your hand.

So corner coffee guy, I raise my fresh, hot and cheap coffee cup to you. I hope you have a good day :)

First Post

I have been thinking of this blog for a while now.  At least for a year, but for some reason, I never got around to it.  I don't know if it was laziness, nerves or what that kept me from writing, but I hope that once I get started,  I won't be able to stop...

For the last couple of days I have wrestled with what I would post about.  What would be a good first blog, what would be good enough to start a legacy?  I had a million thoughts.  Should I write about my adoration with Vincent D'Onofrio of Law & Order: Criminal Intent fame (there will be a post dedicated to this, don't worry :)?  My recent trip to Cancun?  My hate of the snow and the cold?  Resolutions for the new year??? After thinking about it I decided to dedicate this blog to three people that have been pushing me to start this damn thing!!

Carolina - My fabulous friend.  She is smart, witty and cute as hell, can't be on time for the life of her, but she still rocks!!  Carolina is a young mom, entrepreneur, and writer.  By reading her own personal blog http://carolinapichardo.blogspot.com you can see what a great writer she is.  Ohh, before I forget, here's another plug, her other endeavor YUM - Young Urban Moms, get it Yum, Yummy.   :) http://www.youngurbanmoms.org

Wes - My RA little brother :) When I met Wes back in August, I didn't know what to think?  Who was this waspy kid speaking better Spanish than me??  As weeks went by, we would talk about the problems of the world, what we as human beings can contribute to this cruel world.  What not to do on a date.  Golf.  People I don't like, because Wes likes everybody, and that is the truth.  Religion.  Poverty.  Living in far away lands and everything in between.  Lately, our conversations have centered around putting thoughts down and making ourselves accountable, for the sake of ourselves and not others.  The following clip will describe a little bit of Wes in about five minutes.  We watched this video two times, back to back.  Its funny and thoughtful, just like my little brother Wes.  Class of 99 - Wear Sunscreen

Last, but not least, Eddie - My best friend and boyfriend.  Poor Eddie, he has had to hear about this thing forever and ever.  He will send me reminder emails after I say something funny or witty telling me that my latest ramblings would be a good idea for a blog.  I secretly think he wants me to start this thing so he does not have to hear me go on and on and on.  Now he has to do both, hear and read :) Love you babe!!  Eddie is the smartest and funniest person I know.  Under the dry humor is someone with a gentle heart and boyish smile.  He is always full of interesting conversation, he challenges me to be a better me and I am eternally grateful. 

Carolina, Wes and Eddie, this is to you.  Thank you!